Bradangelo

Western New Yorkers, myself included, love to bowl, which is how a bowling alley renovation becomes front page sports news in the Lockport Union-Sun & Journal.  Too bad nobody read over the story before it went to print.  Sure, journalists are trained to pack a lot of information in right away, but, really!  After you get past the dangly feel of the headline, read the opening paragraph.  Tighten it up, people!  And learn the difference between "sight" and "site" (and "cite," while you're at it.)

One tip I enthusiastically give my students is to remove the word "thing" from their writing.  There is always  a way to be more specific.  Please, Mister Reporter, when you revise, you can take the time to think just a little bit harder and get rid of any form of "thing," "stuff," "or whatever."

Let me know what you think of this thing...er...article:

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal, August 17, 2012.
First part of the article only, which was the most horrendous.  If you're that interested in the bowling alley to want to read the second part, you can message me or look it up yourself.

What You Say vs. What You Mean

I understand that Facebook is informal and I don't judge too harshly, but, still...

A family in a nearby town recently had their house blown up by a leaky propane tank.  They had a lot of kids, one teenager died, other members of the family have been in intensive care--it is horrible.  Someone on Facebook forwarded a post calling for donations that said, "This tragedy could not have struck a better family."

Of course we know what she meant, but what she said was, "Oh, goodie!  This awful family deserved a tragedy of this magnitude.  Karma!"  The poster has no idea what she said, and maybe most people reading it have no idea, but that makes me sad.

When I was teaching basic college writing at a private university, a student had written an analysis of a news program that covered The Linda Yalem Run, a memorial run in honor of a woman raped and killed on a bike path.  Several women had been raped, but only Linda Yalem had also been killed.  My student wrote, "Sadly, Linda was the only one to have been killed."  So... the others were missing out?  It's too bad all of them weren't killed?

Lesson: be aware of what you are actually saying.  Words have meanings.  Having to overlook what you say because it's not what you mean is confusing and tiresome.

Do you have an example of this kind of mush?  Please comment with it here and we can all shake our heads sadly.

One of the Worst Articles EVER!

"Get me a story about the Burn Out King, stat!  I don't care if you have to write it on your phone--just do it!"

"Okay, boss.  Here it is."

"That was fast..."

It sure was!  How many grammar errors can YOU find?  Where does your brain come to a screeching halt because of the awkward writing?  HINT: first grammar error is in the teaser and the first screech to a halt came, for me, in the second paragraph.  Please feel free to comment with your own findings.

For your amusement and to boost your feelings of superiority:

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal, July 23, 2012.

How Many?

Article title: "Lone Gunmen Baffle Police."  Article contents: all about ONE shooting incident with ONE gunMAN.  If your carpets don't match the drapes, hardly anybody will notice.  If your article doesn't match your title, well, somebody should notice!

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal, July 23, 2012.

Left and Right

Okay, this is not technically a grammar error, but the formatting error is amusing to me.  Perhaps it's an indicator of how understaffed our local newspaper has become?

Lockport Union-Sun & Journal, July 22, 2012.