Remedial College

College should definitely not only be for white, upper-class men. It should also not only be for whites, nor only for the upper-class, nor only for men. College, however, should definitely NOT be for the retarded.

I don’t mean people with learning disabilities; I mean retarded.

During my first stint at the prestigious private university where I work, I taught two sections of “developmental” college composition. Although you could argue that college is no place for “developmental” anything, there are some very intelligent, hard-working students who, for one reason or another, need extra writing help to bring themselves up to the college level. Think: the math whiz. Think: the ESL student. Think: a brilliant people person who has avoided the inevitable. Think: students from low-income families who may not have had the best college preparation in high school, but they’re very willing to learn and work extra hard to catch up.

However…

In one of my “developmental” sections was a retarded student. Re-tar-ded. In college. Don’t picture Rainman, this student was not a savant, he was simply retarded. He couldn’t answer questions or participate helpfully in discussions. He was terrible at reading and if you looked at any of his writing his retardation was crystal clear. He spoke out of turn, he didn’t listen, he was combative and rude. He read a newspaper (or at least held it up in front of his face), blocking other students and turning pages noisily. When asked to put it away, he refused. When asked to leave, he got angry and refused. What does one do with a 200 pound angry, retarded man?

How do I know?! I’m a college teacher. I’m not supposed to be a tard-handler.

I’m all for people being allowed to reach their full potentials, but this student had reached his in the 5th grade. What he needed was to learn some basic job and life skills so he could, hopefully, live on his own someday. Maybe he could learn to sort pencils or silverware, but he did NOT need to learn how to cite a research paper in proper MLA format.

Why was I (as well as his fellow students) subjected to Robbie the Retard? A university accepting the retarded is an extreme example of a larger problem I will discuss in my next posting, “Have Money, Will Admit”.